Two Croatian Passports Score for Chelsea

Now, I know what you’re thinking: Damnnnnn son, Cha Boi been gone, Cha boi hasn’t been postin’. Cha boi on vacation? Cha boi in that warm weather? And no, Cha boi hasn’t been on vacation. Well, that’s not entirely true. Cha boi went to Norway but Cha boi hasn’t been in warm weather. And meanwhile Cha other boi been on an absolute tear….


Today Christian Pulisic scored for Chelsea in a 2-2 draw against Valencia. Other than his goal (thank God for VAR), he didn’t play THAT well. He had a few unfortunate giveaways, and didn’t create that many attacking threats. However, by the grace of Thor he continues to score, and that will (hopefully) keep him in the lineup. He did look better than Willian. That much is true. But just barely. I wouldn’t be surprised if Willian gets the axe soon in favor of Mason Mount. It’s weird having Mason on the bench. What is he doing there? But Lampard has had to shift things around now that N’golo Kante is healthy. Because Kante must play. Also, what on Earth was the deal with that yellow card against Kante? I’ve never seen a cleaner, more legit, all ball challenge, and the ref gives him a yellow card. I was screaming in my boat, where I was watching the game on my phone thanks to Xfinity steaming and TNT.

Cha boi.

The draw did a lot for Chelsea; all they have to do now is play Lille and basically not lose, which they should be able to do quite handily.

Other people who impressed me in this game: Mateo Kovacic, Reese James, Kante. One who didn’t impress all that much was Tammy Abraham, though to be fair he didn’t get all that many opportunities. It was great to see Kovacic get his first ever Chelsea goal. What was that celebration? There are so many good things to come out of Croatia. What a wonderful country. I watch chess videos made by a guy I’m Croatia everyday.

Lastly, hats off to Kepa Arrizabalaga for his insane penalty kick save. Jesus, what a beauty. That was the difference, right here. Granted, it never should’ve been a penalty in 8,000 years, but still, Kepa came in massively when they needed him most. Plus I bet he was stoked to be in a Spanish speaking country. To be, like, able to go to the corner store and buy a Kit Kat in his native language. Unless his native language is Basque. And as if they sell Kit Kat in Spain…

Speaking of Spain, why am I not there right now? Oh, it’s cuz Cha boi like dat cold weather. Cha boi cold blooded, just like Christian Pulisic and dem icy cold touches in the six yard box.

Thank God for VAR…

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