Supernova “Pulisic” Descends Over Burnley

A rare supernova was spotted in the skies above Burnley, England on Saturday, burning more brightly, scientists said, than they’d “ever seen before.”

The phenomenon was first recorded over American skies in 2010 in the Pennsylvania area, then with increased intensity starting in 2015 over the Rhine Valley in Germany. The intensity with which the metereological event burned over England on Saturday, however, was dubbed by one researcher as, “Out of this world. Perfect.”

She also added, somewhat mysteriously, that it was, “ambidextrous.”

The event, now being called “The Pulisic” because of similar phenomena historically observed in an area above Croatia, was the first of its kind in Burnley. Pulisic means, in medieval Croatian, “The Titan,” or alternatively, “Cha boi,” and is generally reserved as a moniker for only the most unique supernovas.

It is unclear for how long this supernova will burn, but scientists believe it will make various appearances across England over the next few years, and may even be visible as far away as Spain. Scientists in the Middle Eastern nation of Qatar added, “We feel like we might see it here, too. In like 2022. We’ve just got this hunch.” The supernova is expected to reach full intensity sometime in the next eight years, barring any changes in local air pollution or hamstring injuries. On Saturday the supernova was said to produce, most notably, “three great flashes of light,” eliciting oohs and ahhs from onlookers.

One man visiting Burnley from London remarked, “I normally don’t like Burnley much. But this made the trip more than worth it.”

Due to cloudy conditions the supernova isn’t expected to be visible for about the next week, possibly emerging again over Manchester sometime next Saturday morning, at approximately 1:05pm PDT.

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