Christian Pulisic played a grand total of zero minutes last Saturday, the first time he’s been benched for an entire game this season. Frank Lampard obviously found Willian to be the better option, presumably because of his experience and/or kick-ass hair. Pulisic has stiff competition in the winger spot from the the likes of: Mason Mount, Willian, and probably some other players I don’t want to mention because I’m not completely sure if they’re wingers or just regular midfielders. In fact, I’m not even sure a winger is a midfielder. In fact, I’m not even completely sure where I am right now.
Let alone what this blog post is about.
Chelsea play Spanish titans Valencia tomorrow at home in their first game of the Champions League. Valencia is known, among other things, for producing excellent oranges and for being home to a dialect of Catalan called “Valenciano.” Oranges should not affect tomorrow’s match, as they would undoubtedly be confiscated by customs agents at Heathrow (see: Luton [see: Standsted]).
In other news, I’m coming down from the coffee I had this morning, which means my perspective on the world is changing. Instead of feeling like I’m at a cutting edge technology center surrounded by cutting-edge minds, I actually feel like I’m at a public library in Seattle surrounded by body odor. It is unclear where the body odor is emanating from, which means I will exit the premises soon.
Will Pulisc start (or even play) against Valencia tomorrow? I don’t want to speculate. I was sure he’d start against Wolves, I was sure he’d score, and look where that got me. Instead I’ll leave you with a quote from everyone’s favorite mystic, Rumi:
We carry inside us the wonders we seek outside us.
What does that mean? It means I currently carry an energy bar inside me, since that is what I seek, which is strange because the very reason I seek it is because I don’t have it.
Seek, and ye shall have already found?