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A Few Hyperlinks: Man United vs. Chelsea pt. 2 | Straight Outta Hershey

A Few Hyperlinks: Man United vs. Chelsea pt. 2

Almost all the previews are in. Almost all of them DON’T have Ross Barkley understand it. But I’m not going to talk too much about that today, because that’s what I talked about in the last post.

I guess at least one outlet predicts Ross Barkley will start. Gotta love “football.london.” That’s where I go for all my footballing news.

In related news, I’m drinking black tea mixed with almond milk right now. It’s my second cup of the day. Out of solidarity for Christian Pulisic and his new surroundings, I have completely stricken coffee from my diet, at least for the next three hours. Christian, as the last day dawns before your first ever match in the Premier League, we are thinking of you. You will probably start tomorrow. If you don’t start, you will at least definitely play. You’ve been waiting for this day your whole life. The whole world has been waiting (in Buddhism each person is essentially the world; conversely, I could consider myself the whole world).

Anyway, N’golo Kante. Little known fact about N’golo Kante, courtesy of Wikipedia: When Kante played for Boulogne at the beginning of his career, he commuted to training by scooter. Good for him. In the world of Neymars and Cristiano Ronaldos and other crybabies, it’s good to see a guy who remains down to earth. Or down to England. Or down to London. Or down to West London.

In mildly related news, has anyone ever walked from Hyde Park to Stamford Bridge? I think I want to start a pilgrimage called the “Camino de Stamford,” much like the Camino de Santiago in Spain, a 500-mile walk from the border with France ending in Santiago de Compostela. I DID the walk back in 2014. It took me 33 days. But the question I have is: If I leave my house in Seattle and start walking to Stamford Bridge, how many days will it take me? Will I get eaten by wolves in Canada? Will I be able to row or swim across the Atlantic? Will I accidentally become a helicopter pilot in Greenland?

These are questions that plague me.

Random image of Puli in Chelsea kit:

So here’s my question for all of you out there who are getting excited for the game tomorrow: Who will start at the number 9 position? Will it be Tammy Abraham? Will it be Olivier Giroud? Or will it be someone else? Also: Will Mason Mount start?

Please leave your comments in the comments section.

Ideally, here’s what happens tomorrow: Pulisic at some point blows by Harry Maguire and slots it into the left corner of the net. Or the right corner! As long as the word “slot” is able to be used, I’m OK with whatever happens.

The match starts at 8:30am. I will be up by 7:59am, waiting for the preview, shaking. I will pour myself multiple cups of tea. I will pour anyone around me cups of tea and demand that they drink them or quit my presence. At approximately 8:29am I will commence shouting at no one in particular. Also around this time I will start singing whatever national anthems spring to mind. I will sing the Canadian national anthem poorly. When the players trot onto the field I will attempt to contain myself and fail. I will resist the urge to distract myself by pouring scalding water onto my hands.

Matchday 1. Tomorrow.

Let’s go Blues.

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