Sargent Bedazzles in Augsburg Bundesliga Blitz

Josh Sargent influenced hearts and minds on Sunday with a gorgeous goal for Werder Bremen in a 3-2 win against the most non-descript side in the history of football, FC Augsburg. I shouldn’t say completely non-descript, since Augsburg have the most auspicious Icelandic striker on their team, the venerable Alfreð Finnbogason (Old English dental fricative his). Sargent’s goal came in the 21st minute after a hopeful pass from former Dortmund Christian Pulisic teammate Nuri Sahi, which Sargent was able to, in one graceful, python-going-for-a -capybara-like motion, trap, flick over the keeper, and pile drive into the goal. The whole escapade looked easy for Sargent, who has apparently been playing football since he was a zygote.

This was Sargent’s first start (ever?) of the 2019 Bundesliga season. As I have said in posts past, Sargent’s quality and striker’s instinct should make him Florian Kohfeldt’s go-to man for all things goal related. But Kohfeldt seems hell-bent on mediocrity, and thus Sargent’s lack of playing time.
Sargent and Cha Boi, aka Christian Pulisic, aka the Hellion from Hershey, will have a chance to feature against Méjico this Friday in New Jersey. Look for some solid link up between the two as Christian looks to bury a semi-dastardly performance against Sheffield United in which The “Blades” somehow came back from behind to tie the game 2-2 and cause me to almost have a panic attack. Pulisic, Sargent and McKennie all up front ? Si (lack of accent mark mine), señor. It would be great to get revenge against Mexico, and it would also be great if Greg Berhalter somehow got lost on the way to the game and ended up on an uninhabited island in Micronesia and Brian McBride or someone who actually knows about soccer took over. But US Soccer is probably one the most defective organizations on US soil, so don’t look for that to happen anytime soon.
Josh Sargent, you are an inspiration to us all. Every time to you play, I am excited to watch Werder Bremen. And when you’re on the bench, I cry big fat green tears right alongside you.

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